I go about my daily routines without a sitch. Morning, Jon to School, work, home and bed. . .It is the day to day. For me it gets boring at times and I begin to wonder. . .how did I get here. . .It is natural for me and practically everyone in the world to be driven by negativity and to often see more of that bad and ignore the good.
September felt like the month that was never going to end and then I finally went on vacation. I spent 2 weeks in Canada with my family. One week I was with Jaybird. . .Jean Gagne. Jay is one of my favorite people in the world because he understands what it is like to be a Jo-hanna. Jay and I had a good time eating and looking around. Its a shame thought that I had to travel outside of the country to have a friend like Jay around again. This brings me to the same place of wondering where has everyone gone? I remeber spending late nights playing games and talking to friends and now it seems like the world is too busy to sit down and catch up.
While in Canada I also had some time with my older brother Richard. When I went to California over a year ago we did not have much time because he was busy working and such. This trip was fruitful, I was able to get to know him better and meet my nephew Alexandro. Who is one of the cutest babies ever!! I had fun getting to know everyone and spending time with a family that enjoys eachothers company. My sister in law Olga and her sister were great compnay when Richard went back home. . .but before my trip was over I was able to attend my nephews baptism, something I would have never imagined possible. I sat in the reception while my brother and his wife danced to a song they dedicated to their son. It was amazing and I was overwhelmed with happiness because of what it meant. This meant that I finally found my brother, that I could say that no matter what details I have yet to complete in life. . .he is here and I am grateful for that.
I have been back home now for a couple of weeks and the Canada high is gone. I have been back to the same day to day boring. Well or so I thought. It is easy to say life is boring but do nothing about it. I have my moments when I forget what is important. This Saturday was an opportunity for me to snap myself back into perspective. Life does not have to be full of fireworks to be bright. Life is full of those moments that carry you on to the next.
Saturday after Jonathans soccer game I decided to take a road trip with my two favorite boys. Jon, Joe and I packed up snacks and got in the car to support Georgi’s daughters event in Kissimee (Side note: Georgi is my car dealer, his daughter drowned when she was under 1yr). We arrived to Blackstone Landing Community to a family day of balloons, bounce houses for the kids, food and raffles. Georgi was collecting money to continue treatments for his daughter who is now about 3 years old. I drove there happy and proud of myself because I was able to go and help support. While I was there I realized some of the things I take for granted and some of my worste habbits lately.
While I sat at the table I saw Georgi cooking. He was happy to see that we came what seemed to him a distance from Tampa to support his daughter. I was happy to be there no matter the distance. After a while of sitting there I started thinking and shamefully judging. Here I was supporting someone and I began to have my own reasons and excuses. In reality the truth of support is that we must not agree entirely with what people choose to do with their lives. If I choose to be a doctor for example it is not up to someone else to decide if I have it in me. . .it is up to them to just be at my side if and when things go wrong. This brings me back to Georgi and his daughter. Midway through the event Georgi brought his daughter around and I realized how sick she was. I was sad and truly uncomfortable seeing her there. I felt terrible and began to wonder was I doing the right thing supporting him and his journey with his daughter. I began to judge and I was wrong.
Georgi finally came to my table with his daughter and explained to me that when Gory drowned she was pronounced dead. The doctors worked on her and after what seemed an eternity they declared her dead and said nothing else could be done. Georgi and his wife were devastated and had faith and hope. Shortly after being pronounced dead Gory began to show life signs and was immediately taken via helicoptor to another hospital. . .and from there her story has grown. Georgi looked at us with tears in his eyes as he expained his story and he completed it with, “you sit here and you do not understand and I understand that but I, I understand why I am here. I understand why I am here with her.” That hit me like a ton of bricks and put me in my place. He was right. I will never understand why some people do what they do. I may never understand peoples decisions yet it is not really my call. I have no right to understand that his love for his daughter is what keeps him everyday. I was never lucky enough to have a father to give his world just to see a smile on his daughters face. I may never understand but I support him and that is what I needed to do yesterday.
I am lucky to be at a place where I can grow from life. I took a lot of things for granted. The family that regardless of what I do, they do not understand but they support me. The family that I support no matter what they do in life regardless of how they have treated me or let me down. I always did things for others because it made me happy. I help others as often as I could no matter what. No matter if people stare down on you and repay you with betrayal and do not appreciate what you do. I will continue to do what has come natural to me. I have to get back to basics and stop expecting so much.
What I thought was a boring day turns out to be days that I can sit back and watch life. I listen to my son play in the background and realize that some people do not have their children. I have a little brother who takes notice when I am feeling less than myself. I realize that I do not need to go across the world to be with people that make me happy and smile. Those people, that life full of smiles in Canada is an addition to an already complete simple life. Loneliness is after all a feeling. . .why be lonely in a place that has so much promice.
We are far from Thanksgiving but I have to say that I am thankful to you all. . .everyone and anyone who takes a moment to kneel in and read a moment of my life. . .
I love you all!! 🙂