Silver Lining

Okay so let me tell you how freaking silver lining I am. I sent out proposals for my book, “LELAT” last week, I think I sent out about six. I got my first response last night and it was a very kind no.

I believe that everything truly and in fact happens for a reason, shit I am here for a reason. The agent I email responded to me in a very kind manner and I was elated. Number one, he read my shit (well not shit I think it’s gold but I am a little biased. . .it is my writing that I am a fan of). Which means one more person in the world has had the opportunity to read my work and that makes me oober happy. I am pre-period. . .TMI, yeah I know but what the heck, you are reading my blog that comes with no warning. If you know me personally, you’d be thinking, that is soooo Johanna. Anywho, I am getting off the subject. I am pre-period so I was emotional early in the day yesterday. I had not gotten any responses from anyone and I was like WHAT THE F_CK man, I know it is worthy of something. I tell my friends and family about my writing and they are all like woo hoo, you are great keep it up. . .so I worry that not enough of them have given me constructive criticism and here I was in the 11th hour freaking out because no one had responded. Well from what my researched concluded about writing queries and proposals and such, the holidays are slow times. I already had that in the back of my mind but my Picasso idea could very easily knock off some lag time. . .duh! Yeah, right! I am overly confident and even on my best days, fear sets in. I believe in my writing more than anyone. I am my biggest fan and at the very same time I am my biggest critic. Me and I have a very healthy bi-polar relationship.

Well it was late in the evening when Mr. Stephen Barr responded and it made my loser ass day! I was like, “Oh hell yeah!!!!” I equate this to the moment in the relationship where girls ignore the bad and hear what they want to hear, not what is actually being said by their boyfriends. “Oh babe, that’s a nice color (she stops listening), but not on you.” Hahaha wait for the but. . .because if there is but face you might not want to skip the channel. I was like, he referred to my writing as “polished and poised!” He said no, but he wished me good luck!! So, like I say, it is not about what you say, it is how you say it. I agree COMPLETELY! He could have said, “Child please, your writing sucks!” But what he did in brief was say it was not his cup of tea and tipped his hat to me.

Had he been mean, ugly or cruel about my book, my overly emotional, hormonal pre-period having ass would have dashed straight for the door to a drive through near you, for my bicmac/emotional eating rendezvous. So I say Thank you to Mr. Barr and I plan on sending him a Thank you letter, one day, when I am somebody. He took the Paula Abdul route, when he could have been Simon and I will forever be grateful.

His email also made me realize that these query letters and proposals are like. . .here take my idea. . .this is what my book is about but it does not say much about me and my daily language. My friends and people who read my blogs enjoy my flow and say, I can hear you when I read your stuff. I need to find a happy medium where people can feel/read me. I want to make a connection. I am aware that I cannot connect with everyone but I am convinced that I can connect with the larger portion of the audience I intend to entertain.

I was born to be a writer, poems, fiction, non-fiction, obituaries. . .if there is a story to be told; I intend to tell it. This process is going to be great fun and I hope I never lose the thirst for writing.

I love it, it is me and I can’t believe I ever wanted to be anything else but a writer. .

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