I went on a date with my son

So I’ve been single all my life. Never married, not once made a Mrs. but I was in a relationship for so long I felt married. For the past five years I’ve been single (in every sense of the word) and dating occasionally.

I am very careful about who I date because I am a two pack deal. I have a 12 year old son who deserves the respect of the person I choose to date equally as much as he deserves the respect of my son. I’m not looking for anyone to do any raising but I take my career as a mother seriously and because of that my son has yet to meet any potential suitors. There was that one time things came close but the proximity of monogamy scared the day lights out of that one.

Every now and again my son brings up dating. His father has been dating for some time now and has three other children. I guess my son thinks it’s my turn now because more often than not he asks when I am going to go on a date.

I don’t know if it is fear or if I just don’t know how to give dating a serious chance but something keeps me from going all single twenty something date crazy (I’m hanging on to these last few months in my twenties).

I was typing away one evening on my laptop; a night much like tonight, and my son Jonathan asks, “mom, aren’t you lonely?” At the moment I wasn’t because I was in my magical writing world but in all truth and reality, yes sometimes I am lonely but I didn’t have the heart to be completely honest and I said, “no, I have you.” “Well mom, that’s not enough. You need somebody, when I’m with my dad you’re alone, I don’t want you to be alone. I think you should go on more dates.”

My sweet boy hasn’t learned the true value of quality over quantity but I guess he is right. Momma should go on more dates.

A couple of weeks later I picked my son up from school and headed home to get ready for a date. I don’t usually tell my son when I’m going on a date. I usually find a sitter or find time when he’s with his dad. This time I decided to tell my son, almost as if I needed to show him, “look kiddo mom isn’t going to die alone, I can book a date!” He was shocked because he hadn’t even heard of the mentioning of any guys. I guess he was expecting me to act like the other middle school girls who went to school with him. My days of gushing over the guy-tails are at a minimum. After the initial shock, I sent him to get ready as I got dressed.

I sat on the toilet applying my makeup and curling the last loose strands of hairs that hugged my face. I was almost ready. I could see a curious hazel eyed boy in my peripherals. He suddenly wasn’t trying to make a love connection. He looked like he wanted to be happy for me but he couldn’t help but be jealous. I called him over and asked what was up. He then started to ask a million questions. What’s he like? Does he like sports? What is his name? Where did you meet?

I didn’t spare him any details, “he’s really cute, oh my god he is so funny, he used to play soccer, oh and he loves watching wrestling.” Jonathan held his hands in his pockets and nodded and said, “he sounds nice,” then walked away. I found his disinterest both charming and funny.

I was finally ready to go, so I called my son, grabbed my bag and met him downstairs. When my son met me down stairs he smiled and said, “wow mommy, you look like a princess!” I smiled and kissed him on his forehead, like I always do, and we walked out the door.

In the car ride Jonathan and I laughed and talked about his day in school. His giggles have a way of melting my heart. We both lost track of time driving but we arrived at our first stop. I pulled in to the first parking spot I could find.

Jon suddenly looked up and realize we weren’t at my brother or sisters house. We were in front of Jonathan’s favorite restaurant. Soon after Jon asked, “mom what about your date?” I replied, “like I said, he’s really cute, oh my god he is so funny, he used to play soccer, oh and he loves watching wrestling. He is you!”

The look on his face was priceless.

I know he doesn’t want me to be lonely but there is no better feeling in the world then to sit across from your child as they look at you in complete awe. That night I was a princess in my sons eyes. He also felt like the most important person in the world. Sometimes while I’m busy working and trying to take care of him in other ways I fail to remind him. I know that night will be among many moments he and I will never forget.

Someday, To some lucky guy I may be the most beautiful woman in the world but for the time being, I love being just Jonathan’s mom.

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Dive in, the Waters’ Good

Take the plunge
Calculate the risk
Resist resisting to exist

The waters’ fine
To each, yours or mine
Nothing concrete to define

Like the crashes of waves
Unplanned motions of fate
Our emotions penetrate like suns set ablaze

Lovers fear predatory intentions
Afraid of dipping into past discretions

Though there are plenty
Fish alike like you and me
It’s inevitable they seem to see

The palpable fear
Hinders the silhouette
Of those paired by fate

The post traumatic history
Encounter of sharks
Fail to give the many fish of the sea a fresh start

By: Me (Johanna Arroyo, 5/29/13)

My Neo

I was driving home the other night with my son. We were just strolling along with the music in the background, it was one of those rare moments that we were completely silent. When out of the blue Jon says, “I got it!, she is not the one” (he’s speaking of a particular person who is dating someone important in his life).

So I say why not and he replies, “if she were the one they wouldn’t fight that much. . .the one is special and meant to be. . .she would be pretty and wouldn’t get mad about everything.”

Interesting. . .

“Okay Jon, what would “the one” for mommy be like?”
“he’d be respectful and nice, he’d never yell at you, oh and he wouldn’t interrupt you. . .women don’t like when men interrupt them, even I know that!”

Hahaha. . .I love my son so much. In moments when things get a little rough and I feel a little down I am glad he is the age that he is. He can reverse days of sadness with a single smile. He is my cure all. He is so kind and makes me proud to just hear him speak. He gives me hope for the future in just knowing that I have taken part in the growth of an amazing human being.

DNA

Everyone enjoys a challenge but sometimes when it has been placed right before our eyes we forget that we were the ones that actually asked for it.

I remember saying, I want to meet someone that makes me wonder. . .someone that gives me something to think about. . .

Well I never thought that there would be a day where I was actually muted dumb because of how intelligent someone else was. . . but he was quite brilliant and surprising. I would say genial and quite different from any other so called “nerd” I have met in my life. It was a breath of fresh air and on the same token I walked away for the first time in my life concerned with my intellect and not my appearance…how hilarious. . .I didn’t care if he thought I was cute or pretty. . .I was more concerned with the weight of my knowledge and the lack of it on that very night where everything I knew made little sense in comparison to everything he had to say.

He is a science teacher and a genetics fiend. He even had the DNA code tattooed on his rib cage.

He was pretty funny and intriguing. My shot in the dark turned out to be a pleasant surprise. He reminded me of James McAvoy’s version of professor Xavier in The Origins movie and he was cute too.

This summer he is going to hike the Appalachian trail and will be going to the Peace Corps in Africa shortly after. I have always wanted to do something like that, so I thought it is pretty spectacular that he is going to have the opportunity.

I love meeting new people and Loren was a really nice person to get to know.