Smile

Because of that smile
I dreamt versions of our lives
Fabricated for over a decade
As I watched the time fly

I wondered where you’d be
Who you’ve loved
What you’ve seen
Did you leave any room for me?

What’s in a smile?
Much more than a name
But no matter the feelings
A vagabond of love I remain

Life brought us up to speed
And though the feelings remain
You’re now a pair of his and hers
The her doesn’t contain my name

What a cruel intended smile
A grim twist of fate
To love one like I do you
A decade too late

By: Me (Johanna Arroyo)

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I’ll Know When I Get There

I’ve overcome some obstacles, some big, some little; they varied in facets and depths.

During the storm I ask why has it rained on my parade. . .how did I get stuck in quicksand. . .why, why, WHY didn’t things go according to plan?

I have learned so many things from these unsolicited obstacles that I now know they happened for a reason.

I offer this as my best explanation of life, knowing all too well that I have lived but a fraction of my own lessons, so please don’t be offended.

Consider yourself the parent of your dreams and life. No matter your spiritual beliefs, we all know that everything happens for a reason, but we aren’t so forgiving or welcoming of those things when they happen.

When people have children, they choose a name, decor and all of the little details of the baby boy or baby girl to be. We celebrate the arrival before the arrival and we wish and hope for the best. Some pregnancies (adoptions, surrogates) go as planned. No need for medicinal intervention, no pain and yet others hit you with a curve ball. It seems as though a catastrophe has occurred in a seamless plan.

There we are again…why why why?

Why you ask?

Because it is part of the journey!

Little Jon arrives in place of Jane. Some little angels are born with additional chromosomes and parts, some are incomplete and need more care. As our children, we nurse them and love them and fight like hell for acceptance for them. We go down a long and winding road for the betterment of them.

At the end of all the struggle, and the unplanned blessings we never look at our children and think about everything we went through to have them. . .we see them for who they are and who they’ve become.

Such is everything in life…we can’t shoot for the stars and get distracted by clouds. Just remember that if we just travel a little further, the journey will no longer trump the final destination.

Instead of saying why, tell yourself, “I’ll know when I get there!”

Lyra

Isn’t he worth fighting for
The man I adored
The one I loved like no one before

Outsiders looking in
How to start, where do I begin
Dissecting the beginning of our end
It made no sense what happened, when?

Committing treason from the start
Betrayed myself and risked my heart broke down those once hardened walls
Because his love was the symphony to my call

I said he was the answer to my questions
All the details were never flaws
Before me a perfect man created in thought

Never stolen from this willing
Woman who loved you from the beginning
She sought to end every battle in winning

Such an incredible view
The day we’ll face the world, together, us two
Never askew, sometimes blue, impatient for what I know to be true

Here I am
Fighting this silent battle for me and you
Because I know your worth, do you?

By: Me (Johanna Arroyo 6/17/2013)