One Day

She sat upon a dream sometime

Afraid to bring it back to life

Awaiting for one day She kept

The dusty little dream at rest

So abandoned she lie

On the cutting room floor

Surpassed nine lives

Yet dead again once more

If not by her lips

To reintroduce her to life

Imagined in thought

She clung for her life

For one day she’d dance

And frolic once more

Once the fear left her thought

The dream life could soar

This dream that was dungeoned

And knew nothing of light

No longer dead from inaction

Now clambering to fight

A raspy old tone

Came from the hollow within

Let today be the one day

Dream doesn’t let fear win
By: Jo Arroyo (11/9/2015)

Advertisements

I Woke Up Pregnant Today. . .

I don’t know where to start. . .

There is this overwhelming fear of failure and what if. What if I make the wrong choices? Can I recover if I take a step in the wrong direction? 
Precious cargo is such a blessing and a burden to bare. I can nourish this gift or I can feed it poison and stunt its growth but I can’t because today I woke up full. My womb and heart are full of so much hope. This new life brings me the opportunity to create something unimaginable. I have been blessed with life and I can choose where I take it. 
There are so many details that I know nothing about but I can learn, because this is all I ever wanted.
See, I wish that everyone can wake up pregnant. Pregnant with emotion and enthusiasm for life. I am nourishing my soul and my dreams because much like a brand new baby, these dreams of mine can be steered in the right direction. These dreams will learn how to crawl and before they take flight or even walk, they will stumble. Yet, there is no failure in holding a child’s hand while she is learning how to live and see life. I can embrace my dreams and take them by the hand and run, because after all I have done my fair share of stumbling but it is time. Time to see this through because after all it is my dream, it is my so called baby. 

Calling

There is no stutter

in the words that I write

There is little fear

not even a fight

 

I feel I say I scream

From mountain tops

indented phrases

elapsed in thought

 

No holding back

Once silent murmurs

The light of day they see

Words formerly unheard of

 

No coward stance

behind closed palms

Nails are strengthened

no more clenched jaws

 

The fear of failure

Is not even a thought

as soon as pen touches paper

fearlessness in foot

 

what makes you stutter?

what holds you back?

rejecting rejection

before it begins

 

Paper can crumble

it can be torn down

Yet it is a release

Of all my thoughts

 

To scribe is my calling

No matter the doubt

Every word I’ve written

Has somewhere to be found

 

By: Me (Johanna Arroyo 2/18/2015)

30 to life. . .

 

When I was a child, thirty was the age when it all ended. I didn’t know better when I assumed that everyone was old and everyone was done. . .done living I suppose. I didn’t have a real role model and I lived in my imagination. There was no go big or go home motto, let’s face it, I never left home.

There are so many things I have learned in life and many I have yet to learn. The years flew right by and all my childhood fantasies of what I would become at this age have come and gone. Now. I will say, most of those dreams changed all together.

I have been in love and I have broken hearts. I have been hurt and I have hurt others. I have made wishes and cashed them in and I have taken leaps of faith and fallen straight on my face. What I have learned that no matter how often we all point the finger we both have two sides of a penny, the good and bad. . .the funny and dry. No matter how different those two sides are it makes us versatile, it makes us unique but it also binds us.

I don’t know what another thirty years of life will give me. I had no idea what this life would bring but so far I am happy and thankful of the journey I have partaken in. It’s been a little messy but I have never been worried about getting my feet wet.

I’ll Know When I Get There

I’ve overcome some obstacles, some big, some little; they varied in facets and depths.

During the storm I ask why has it rained on my parade. . .how did I get stuck in quicksand. . .why, why, WHY didn’t things go according to plan?

I have learned so many things from these unsolicited obstacles that I now know they happened for a reason.

I offer this as my best explanation of life, knowing all too well that I have lived but a fraction of my own lessons, so please don’t be offended.

Consider yourself the parent of your dreams and life. No matter your spiritual beliefs, we all know that everything happens for a reason, but we aren’t so forgiving or welcoming of those things when they happen.

When people have children, they choose a name, decor and all of the little details of the baby boy or baby girl to be. We celebrate the arrival before the arrival and we wish and hope for the best. Some pregnancies (adoptions, surrogates) go as planned. No need for medicinal intervention, no pain and yet others hit you with a curve ball. It seems as though a catastrophe has occurred in a seamless plan.

There we are again…why why why?

Why you ask?

Because it is part of the journey!

Little Jon arrives in place of Jane. Some little angels are born with additional chromosomes and parts, some are incomplete and need more care. As our children, we nurse them and love them and fight like hell for acceptance for them. We go down a long and winding road for the betterment of them.

At the end of all the struggle, and the unplanned blessings we never look at our children and think about everything we went through to have them. . .we see them for who they are and who they’ve become.

Such is everything in life…we can’t shoot for the stars and get distracted by clouds. Just remember that if we just travel a little further, the journey will no longer trump the final destination.

Instead of saying why, tell yourself, “I’ll know when I get there!”