Tag: Johanna Arroyo

I’ll Know When I Get There

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I’ve overcome some obstacles, some big, some little; they varied in facets and depths.

During the storm I ask why has it rained on my parade. . .how did I get stuck in quicksand. . .why, why, WHY didn’t things go according to plan?

I have learned so many things from these unsolicited obstacles that I now know they happened for a reason.

I offer this as my best explanation of life, knowing all too well that I have lived but a fraction of my own lessons, so please don’t be offended.

Consider yourself the parent of your dreams and life. No matter your spiritual beliefs, we all know that everything happens for a reason, but we aren’t so forgiving or welcoming of those things when they happen.

When people have children, they choose a name, decor and all of the little details of the baby boy or baby girl to be. We celebrate the arrival before the arrival and we wish and hope for the best. Some pregnancies (adoptions, surrogates) go as planned. No need for medicinal intervention, no pain and yet others hit you with a curve ball. It seems as though a catastrophe has occurred in a seamless plan.

There we are again…why why why?

Why you ask?

Because it is part of the journey!

Little Jon arrives in place of Jane. Some little angels are born with additional chromosomes and parts, some are incomplete and need more care. As our children, we nurse them and love them and fight like hell for acceptance for them. We go down a long and winding road for the betterment of them.

At the end of all the struggle, and the unplanned blessings we never look at our children and think about everything we went through to have them. . .we see them for who they are and who they’ve become.

Such is everything in life…we can’t shoot for the stars and get distracted by clouds. Just remember that if we just travel a little further, the journey will no longer trump the final destination.

Instead of saying why, tell yourself, “I’ll know when I get there!”

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Her

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There is nothing I can tell you
To keep you from worries
I want to see you now
But you’re in such a hurry

Time keeps us from one another
I know you cry when you’re alone
But still you believe like no other
Force back the tears and pretend to be whole

You’re almost here kiddo
But not just yet
There is a reason we haven’t met

I warm your heart
When you feel like the last soul
I remind you, you can
No matter what you’ve been told

I try to remind you,
Don’t ignore the warm faces
Stop running before you adjoin your laces

I know that you feel
Like I’m all that you have
But don’t overlook all the others that can

Life has dealt you
Some challenges, I know
But you never headed or rejected them
You knocked them out cold

You’re a south paw kind of girl
They almost missed you before you swung
You kept showing them
You were far from done

You’re in the last leg
I know you’re exhausted
You think you deserve a break
But honey, you’re not done yet!

It’s taken some time
But no worries
We’ll finally meet

No one else knows you better
I am your goals, your life, and your dreams

I can’t wait for you to see me now
At times I wonder and ask myself how
Lost and alone in a world full of promise
I held your heart in my hands
Your beat was the strongest

I pumped through your veins
You helped me become
You lived for us both
You did all that you could

It’s great to see you now
The woman you always knew you’d become

My Neo

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I was driving home the other night with my son. We were just strolling along with the music in the background, it was one of those rare moments that we were completely silent. When out of the blue Jon says, “I got it!, she is not the one” (he’s speaking of a particular person who is dating someone important in his life).

So I say why not and he replies, “if she were the one they wouldn’t fight that much. . .the one is special and meant to be. . .she would be pretty and wouldn’t get mad about everything.”

Interesting. . .

“Okay Jon, what would “the one” for mommy be like?”
“he’d be respectful and nice, he’d never yell at you, oh and he wouldn’t interrupt you. . .women don’t like when men interrupt them, even I know that!”

Hahaha. . .I love my son so much. In moments when things get a little rough and I feel a little down I am glad he is the age that he is. He can reverse days of sadness with a single smile. He is my cure all. He is so kind and makes me proud to just hear him speak. He gives me hope for the future in just knowing that I have taken part in the growth of an amazing human being.

Blood & Water

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At this point in my life I have heard the phrase, “blood is thicker than water” one too many times. While I agree that scientifically this holds true I do not agree that it is the correct means of identifying family. I have a great deal of friends, coworkers and extended family that have been the better part of my adult life. Some would suggest that I put them second to my actual family or my birth given family. In an ideal world the family we are born to are the people that are supposed to support us and help us through difficult times and life’s tough decisions. As unfortunate as it is sometimes that blood bound family is not enough and fails in comparison to others that have come into our lives. It leaves me wondering how I could have gone on in my life without these friends and aunts and cousins on a daily basis. So it made me think about this common phenom of blood and water. How they are both as important to the other to sustain life. We pump blood by the gallon and we are made up of so much water. One cannot survive with out either for an extended period of time. I believe in science above most things because science is trial and error and on most occasions science can be proven or duplicated. I love water, it is what keeps me going on a daily basis and if blood is the only tie that binds perhaps I shall get a transfusion.